Im not sure if anyone reads this anymore, but just in case...... its time to update. I am coming to a place in my life where i am no longer sure of my path. There once was a time that I knew I was destined for something great. Now I am not so sure. Those younger days of dreaming have faded to the reality of getting older. I used to just think that things would come to me because of fate. Now I know that some things need to be pushed along. Too bad it is too late. Now I am left to watch my friends grow and get married and have families. I had that opportunity once and I gave it up. There is not a day that goes by that I don't regret my decisions. I was young and dumb.. However if I hadn't made those decisions where would I be? I wouldn't have my baby. However I may also not be alone. I wait patiently for the man God intends me to be with but I be losing my faith in that. I have seen so many ex's get married (to the next girl they date) that it makes me wonder if I am the practice wife? lol I know there is someone out there for me but how long do I have to wait? I come across at first meeting as someone totally different than I am, but I don't know how to change that. I wish I could find someone that sees though that. Aside from that i am dealing with an ex husband who wants nothing more than to see me fail. I am exhausted trying to show him that i am not the girl he knew. Its been 6 years. Get over yourself!!!! You don't know me anymore!!! I am just trying to accept that I am am person that is hard to understand until you spend some time with me. Although many think that I have no filter and wear my heart on my sleeve, there is so much more to me than that. If only people would take the time.... I can't change me, this is who I am. I am a good, loyal, trustworthy person, But that holds no merit with some. They cannot see into my heart. I will find what I am looking for someday. I just hope it is soon.....
