Im not sure if anyone reads this anymore, but just in case...... its time to update. I am coming to a place in my life where i am no longer sure of my path. There once was a time that I knew I was destined for something great. Now I am not so sure. Those younger days of dreaming have faded to the reality of getting older. I used to just think that things would come to me because of fate. Now I know that some things need to be pushed along. Too bad it is too late. Now I am left to watch my friends grow and get married and have families. I had that opportunity once and I gave it up. There is not a day that goes by that I don't regret my decisions. I was young and dumb.. However if I hadn't made those decisions where would I be? I wouldn't have my baby. However I may also not be alone. I wait patiently for the man God intends me to be with but I be losing my faith in that. I have seen so many ex's get married (to the next girl they date) that it makes me wonder if I am the practice wife? lol I know there is someone out there for me but how long do I have to wait? I come across at first meeting as someone totally different than I am, but I don't know how to change that. I wish I could find someone that sees though that. Aside from that i am dealing with an ex husband who wants nothing more than to see me fail. I am exhausted trying to show him that i am not the girl he knew. Its been 6 years. Get over yourself!!!! You don't know me anymore!!! I am just trying to accept that I am am person that is hard to understand until you spend some time with me. Although many think that I have no filter and wear my heart on my sleeve, there is so much more to me than that. If only people would take the time.... I can't change me, this is who I am. I am a good, loyal, trustworthy person, But that holds no merit with some. They cannot see into my heart. I will find what I am looking for someday. I just hope it is soon.....
3 comments:
Do not EVER worry what your x husband thinks. I have learned that. It has been 6years for me as well. As long as you know in your heart yu are making good productive choices as a mother, then the rest will come. Most importantly is your girls feeling safe and secure and most of all LOVED with their Mommy. Be who you are and be comfortable with that and Love will come when you least expect it! Love you! Xoxo
Thank you :-)
Your beauty lies within, it is blinding once seen. I'm previledged to see it so often. Every moment spent is treasured.
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